Defensive childhood

I look forward to revisiting my childhood; my box is among others that have been moved around. Today reminds me of who I used to be. I still don't understand what is clear or upcoming, or what happened before. I felt like a lonely girl then, and now I feel lonelier than I did when I coloured in blue at present and showed my back. My younger self laughs and smiles, yet I feel lonely and resentful. I'm developing a sense of abandonment, but also becoming independent.